1. |
Dodged A Bullet
03:13
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DODGED A BULLET
People tell me tough times are coming,
People tell me tough times are here
I say I don’t need convincing
I think I’ve seen it all this year
Fate had one with my name on it this time
And he knew I had no place to hide
But I guess I just must’ve got lucky
I moved off to the side
I dodged a bullet this time, dodged a bullet this time
I say yeah, yeah, I dodged a bullet this time
Coulda been that I ate my oatmeal
Coulda been that I thought good thoughts
Coulda been someone’s smiling down on me
Coulda been that I didn’t get caught
The Man In Black is looking at me sideways
And I think that I can hear him say
“I got a lot of other things to do
You get a pass today”
I dodged a bullet this time, dodged a bullet this time
I say yeah, yeah, I dodged a bullet this time
I hear that the meteor missed us
So far, I haven’t caught the Plague
And those assholes didn’t take over the government
No, Satan, not today
Got some time to make things better
Out here in the land of the free
And any day that I’m waking up breathing
That’s a good day for me
I dodged a bullet this time, dodged a bullet this time
I say yeah, yeah, I dodged a bullet this time
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2. |
Four-Legged Woman
02:12
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FOUR-LEGGED WOMAN
Open up all the windows,
And let the sun blow away the blues
I got a four-legged woman in my house
She’s making all my dreams come true
I met her at P.T. Barnum’s,
Where she was a rising star
But the four-legged woman likes to dance
To the sound of my guitar
I’m doin’ the best that I can do
And I’m watching what I say
I sure don’t want those four fine legs
To get up and walk away
She’s a scientific curiosity
And she’s also my best friend
Got a four-legged woman in my life
I’ll be with her to the end
If this song makes me rich and famous
That’ll make my life complete
‘Cause you know, it takes a whole lot of dough
To buy shoes for all of her feet
Well, my friends all think she’s stunning,
And you know that I agree
I love that crazy four-leg girl
She says that she loves me
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3. |
End Of Story
04:14
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END OF STORY
D D/C#
Well if it was just up to me, I wouldn’t write a tragedy
D/B Bb6
That wasn’t my intention, not at all
D D/C#
But now it’s come the deadline day, and all my good words swept away
D/B Bb6
As from the skies the typewriters fall
Em A Em A
I know you’ll want to tell me all the times that I screwed up
Em A G A
And then we’ll sit together and we’ll drink the poison cup
D D/C# D/B D/A
And you say end of story, end of story, end of story, end of story
G A G A
You know it makes me crazy, girl, to see it go this way
D D/C# D/B D/A
But you say end of story, end of story, end of story, end of story
G A
Don’t give up on this one now,
G A Cmaj7
There’s so much more our book was gonna say
You closed the cover on our dreams, I don’t know why or what it means
It seems somehow the plot just fell apart
But is that really all my fault, I thought we were the team
That turned collaboration to an art
I’ve been around enough to read the writing on the wall
But still I just don’t understand, I thought we had it all (CHS)
(SOLO OVER G A Cmaj7)
Now here on the hillside and our book’s all torn to bits
The tattered pages whirling round our heads
I never thought our epilogue would turn out sad as this
Let’s write a different denouement instead
I used to think romances were so corny and uncool
But when I looked into your eyes, you made them all come true(CHS, END)
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4. |
Revenge On You
03:58
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REVENGE ON YOU
Is everything OK? I thought I heard you say
And I’ll tell you everything is cool
Oh yeah, it’s fine by me, but not as fine as it will be
When I take my revenge on you
Well, I was shook up bad
By the things you did and said
Your betrayal came from out of the blue
And now I guess it’s war, but I won’t have to fight no more
When I take my revenge on you
When I take my revenge on you, I take my revenge on you
You know that I’ll rejoice
In a clear and righteous voice
When I take my revenge on you
I thought we were all right,
Then at the speed of light
I turned around and I was screwed
My back still bears your knife
But I’ll get back my life
When I take my revenge on you
I hear the people say,
As I walk on my way
To trust is just to be a fool
And yeah, my trust is dust, but I’ll soon readjust
When I take my revenge on you
When I take my revenge on you, I take my revenge on you
You know that I’ll rejoice
In a clear and righteous voice
When I take my revenge on you
You won’t believe your eyes,
You sure will be surprised
Not givin’ you no sneak preview
Something you won’t expect
But who knows what comes next
When I take my revenge on you
And so, until that time
I’ll say everything is fine
And bid you now a fond adieu
And wait upon that night
When everything is right
When I take my revenge on you
When I take my revenge on you, I take my revenge on you
You know that I’ll rejoice
In a clear and righteous voice
When I take my revenge on you
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5. |
Who The Why The Where
04:24
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WHO THE WHY THE WHERE
I got there to the party, and I sailed into the crowd
The people there were shiny and the people there were loud
I thought I’d have a little fun, at least that’s what I planned
But how was I to know that things would soon get out of hand
A man came up to me, he had a hairstyle two feet tall
Gave me a sack of jellybeans, said I should eat ‘em all
An hour after I did that, just like he told me to
I was standing on the ceiling, and my ears were turning blue
I don’t know who the why the where the what is going on
I thought I was arriving, but it turned out I was gone
Now if you ever find out you can call me on the phone
And tell me who the why the where the what is going on
I climbed down from the rafters, ‘cause I knew that wasn’t right
Considerably distracted by the colors and the lights
I was feeling pretty dizzy, tried to get on off the floor
When a dozen guys in uniform came busting through the door
By now, I knew this festival was one I’d overstayed
Because these guys were shouting that we were in a raid
I was feeling quite illegal, just like they thought I’d be
They said they were policemen, but they looked like clowns to me
I don’t know who the why the where the what is going on
I thought I was arriving, but it turned out I was gone
Now if you ever find out you can call me on the phone
And tell me who the why the where the what is going on
And now I’m in the jailhouse, well, at least that much is clear
But if the walls keep melting, I could walk right out of here
I might just wait around until my lawyer comes along
And tells me who the why the where the what is going on
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6. |
Beautiful Picture
04:23
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BEAUTIFUL PICTURE
She sits in her window seat sipping her coffee for one
Her white cat beside her reflecting the rays of the sun
She looks to the garden, and puts down her saucer and then
Picks up her paper and sighs as she picks up her pen
Her skin is like honey, her golden hair framing her face
The light pouring in turns to golden her dress of white lace
As she readies the letter she’s only beginning to start
It’s a beautiful picture except that she’s breaking my heart
I know now I should have told her
Everything that I was thinking
All the times I missed her in the dance-
One too many times away
And all the things I can’t unsay
And things I would have done had I the Chance
She finishes writing and sits for a moment alone
She thinks of the past and memories of things that are gone
Her tears on the pages are drying as it’s getting dark
It’s a beautiful picture except that it’s breaking my heart
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7. |
BBQ
04:44
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BBQ
Times are hard for a working slob
When you lose your house and you lose your job
We had to move to the swamp in a little bitty shack
‘Cause that big-time job ain’t a-comin’ back
Well, you can’t worry ‘bout what you might have had
And to tell the truth, things ain’t so bad
You know there’s one thing we can do
That’s to head on down to the BBQ
I’m goin’ to the BBQ, I’m goin’ to the BBQ
I’m goin’ to the BBQ with you
There’ll be wrestlers wrestling in a big ol’ cage
And a cool blues band playin’ on the stage
A barker barkin’ out all hell-bent
‘Bout the Cootchie Girls he’s got in his tent
But that’s all really just beside the point
‘Cause the reason that we came to this joint
Though the wrestlers, band and the girls are cool
What we’re really here for is the BBQ
I’m goin’ to the BBQ, I’m goin’ to the BBQ
I’m goin’ to the BBQ with you
Well the chef he’s big, 300 pounds
And he cooks the best BBQ around
If you take a bite, it’ll make you smile
You’ll want a little more in just a little while
You can spend more money at a pricey scene
At a fancy table eatin’ haute cusine
Though French cooks there might shout “sacre bleu”
There is nothing better than the BBQ!!!
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8. |
Gris-Gris Girl
02:48
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GRIS-GRIS GIRL
I got a girl so fine and pretty
Dressed up in those gypsy clothes
She’s got a thing goin’ on right now
I think that everybody knows
I had to go and do it
Yeah, I had to go and do it
I had to go and do it,
Go and get with the Gris-Gris Girl
People say that I’m crazy
Talkin’ all out of my head
She got a lock of my hair in a knot
And it’s hidden underneath the bed
I had to go and do it
Yeah, I had to go and do it
I had to go and do it,
Go and get with the Gris-Gris Girl
Well, I’m not saying I’m not happy
Not about to cut and fly
And the shrunken heads on the mantlepiece
They’re tellin’ me I better not try
The amulets around her neck
Protecting me from harm
But she says if I mess around
I’m goin’ down to the zombie farm
I had to go and do it
Yeah, I had to go and do it
I had to go and do it,
Go and get with the Gris-Gris Girl
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9. |
Hit The Ground Running
03:24
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HIT THE GROUND RUNNING
Hit the ground running, just one more time
Don’t you know when things go wrong
That you gotta keep trying
Yeah I’m running, but I oughta be flying
Gonna hit the ground running, yeah, one more time
All that I had, I gave to you
At the time it was fine, it was everything I wanted to do
But I finally found out without doubt that you wouldn’t be true
Better hit the ground running, yeah, to get away from you
Somewhere out there, beyond the sky
A girl with a real true love waits to meet my eyes
All the games that you play only show that you’re crippled inside
And if I hit the ground running, I won’t even have to say goodbye
Hit the ground running, just one more time
Don’t you know when things go wrong
That you gotta keep trying
Yeah I’m running, but I oughta be flying
Gonna hit the ground running, yeah, one more time
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10. |
Back On My Ass Again
03:42
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BACK ON MY ASS AGAIN
Well, it doesn’t take too much talkin’
And it doesn’t take too much time
Doesn’t take too much to get me started
After some of this fancy wine
But you had to go to this party
And you had to bring me along
And I’m not quite sure what I’m doing here,
But I’m sure that I’m doing it wrong
Girl, please stop me talking
Because you know I’m on a roll
And once that ball gets rolling
You know where it’s gonna go
Girl, please stop me talking
Before I make my feelings plain
And they land me
Back on my ass again
Well, this ain’t my kind of fiesta
And this ain’t my kind of town
And I’m sure that all these socalites
They don’t really want me around
But they’re asking for my opinion
And I’m feeling so maligned
So baby, please, get me out of here
Before I speak my mind
Girl, please stop me talking
Because you know I’m on a roll
And once that ball gets rolling
You know where it’s gonna go
Girl, please stop me talking
Before I make my feelings plain
And they land me
Back on my ass again
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11. |
Deep End Of The Pool
04:33
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DEEP END OF THE POOL
We talked all night long, over many a beer
For so many nights, over so many years
One of the favorite things we could do
We were swimming in the deep end of the pool
Where do we come from, and where do we go?
We both would agree that it’s so hard to know
The things that we hoped for weren’t easy to prove
We were swimming in the deep end of the pool
Our time flows by like a fast-running stream
Our thoughts are like shadows that fade in the dawn
Are we here for certain, or is this a dream?
Is there somewhere we go when we’re gone?
If you hear this now, do a favor for me
When you get to that place, would you save me a seat?
I’ve heard that the floorshow is much more than cool
And I’m swimming in the deep end of the pool
I’ve heard that the floorshow is much more than cool
And I’m swimming in the deep end of the pool
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12. |
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CAN’T KEEP ‘EM ALL IN THE AIR
Juggling balls are bouncing all around me on the stage
I’ve got so many going that it’s driving me insane
Screwing up my performance, and it’s getting hard to bear
One thing for sure,
Can’t keep ‘em all in the air
There’s just so much that’s happening, so much I have to do
For you and for the boss and for the tax collector to
I gotta keep my concentration, I can’t give in to despair
One thing for sure,
Can’t keep ‘em all in the air
Well, there isn’t any doubt I bit off more than I could eat
My schedule is crazy, and I’m run right off my feet
I work as hard as I can work, but still I fall behind
Gotta get on off of this hamster wheel before I lose my mind
You see, there’s just no question I’m sure messing up my act
Might make a good clean exit if I had a heart attack
I’d like to get an encore, but I just don’t have a prayer
One thing for sure,
Can’t keep ‘em all in the air
One thing for sure,
Can’t keep ‘em all in the air
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13. |
Not The Day
03:11
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NOT THE DAY
I used to be a gentle soul, a tender, caring man
But that was before my Evil Ex snared me in her evil plan
And now I’m really evil, so you’d better stay away
If you’re looking for a romance this is really not the day
I couldn’t refuse her anything, yeah that was my big mistake
So now I’m lookin’ around trying to find something to break
And you look fine & fragile, so you’d better get away
If you’re looking for a romance this is really not the day
The hours all seem like weeks, and the minutes seem like hours
So I walk up & down the streets seeking whom I might devour
And you look pretty tasty so you’d better run away
If you’re looking for a romance this is really not the day
My friends say all this anger & pain will eventually fade to nada
Till then I’m on the rampage and I’m mean as Torquemada
When the Inquisition’s over, you can call me up to play
But if you’re looking for a romance this is really not the day
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14. |
Kubla Khan
03:20
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KUBLAI KHAN
You took me over, what could I do
I didn’t expect to meet a girl like you
A tender offer, a gentle hand
I tore up my ticket and threw out my plans
Well this is something...what can I say
Sometimes in dreams I think I felt this way
Don’t need no harem, no pleasure dome
I’ve got all I need here in my home sweet home
Because you, you make me feel like Kublai Khan
Yeah you, you got the good stuff on
You take it, you make it
You make me feel like Kublai Khan
All that you wish for is my command
I’ll put the reins of power right into your hand
We’ll ride our horses across the range
Out over the mystical Mongolian plain
And in the distance I think I see
Amazing things for both of you and me
Love and adventure, and travel far
Everything is cool wherever we two are
Because you, you make me feel like Kublai Khan
Yeah you, you got the good stuff on
You take it, you make it
You make me feel like Kublai Khan
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Beowulf Kingsley Grass Lake Charter Township, Michigan
Todd was here before. Perhaps you recognize him from back then. He looked different then, though. If you think he owes you any money, he was probably some other guy. Those other guys are gone now. We think they may be in Guam, or possibly Kansas.
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